


Roulette

by GreenSaplingGrace



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: A Whole Host of Them, Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF AVALANCHE, BAMF Aerith Gainsborough, BAMF Cloud Strife, BAMF Tifa Lockhart, BAMF Zack Fair, Cloud Strife Has Mental Health Issues, Cloud Strife Needs a Hug, Cloud Strife Whump, Cloud Wears Dresses, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mako Poisoning (Compilation of FFVII), Memory Loss, POV Cloud Strife, POV Zack Fair, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Aerith Gainsborough, Protective Barret Wallace, Protective Cloud Strife, Protective Tifa Lockhart, Protective Zack Fair, Psychological Trauma, Seventh Heaven (Compilation of FFVII), Social Anxiety, Soft Barret Wallace, Team as Family, Tifa Lockhart Whump, Trans Zack Fair, Whump, Zack Fair Lives, Zack Fair Needs a Hug, Zack Fair Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSaplingGrace/pseuds/GreenSaplingGrace
Summary: Cloud doesn't know how he got here.He doesn’t know much except that Zack is on his shoulders. Alive or dead or comatose. A heavy, paralyzing weight that he just can’t let go.
Relationships: AVALANCHE & Cloud Strife, AVALANCHE & Zack Fair, Cloud Strife & Barret Wallace, Sephiroth & Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart & Barret Wallace, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife, Zack Fair & Aerith Gainsborough, Zack Fair & Aerith Gainsborough & Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 42
Kudos: 261





	Roulette

**Author's Note:**

> see endnotes for trigger warnings and author's note

Awareness comes and goes in waves, the world a blurring, incomprehensible static around him. One moment he sees endless desert and the next he sees towering walls and rising, twisted metal spires. 

He doesn’t know how he got here. 

He doesn’t know much except that Zack is on his shoulders. Alive or dead or comatose. A heavy, paralyzing weight that Cloud can’t let go. 

He doesn’t know much except that he needs to get them both somewhere - _anywhere_ \- safe. 

_Where am I?_

The world falls away again, and Cloud falls with it. He stumbles, fingers going numb and panic washing like ice water through his veins as the weight slides from his shoulders with a dull thud. He tries to turn and look - to check if Zack is okay - but his vision goes gray and white and green and spins sickeningly until Cloud’s heaving, bending to retch violently over a rain soaked road. He chokes on a cough, bile burning a streak up his throat, and vomits onto the sleek yellow lane lines.

 _The highway,_ his mind supplies.

_Where are we?_

The world splits and he gags, stumbling, knees giving out and stomach turning. The ground rushes to meet him in a spinning twist of gravity and he hears a crack, head bursting with agony.

Then there’s nothing.

\---

Cloud opens his eyes to wet asphalt and the steady patter of rain. He’s stomach down on a long stretch of road, mouth dry and senses overwhelmed by the pervasive scent of hot concrete. Instantly alert, he digs his toes into the ground and claws at it, gaze flitting about desperately until he catches sight of pale, bloody skin and torn armor.

_Zack._

He’s unmoving, mouth slack and body limp, but his eyes aren't open. They're not blank and unseeing. His eyes are closed.

_Does that mean he’s alive?_

_Zack._

“Z..a-” Cloud coughs, whimpering, nails scraping painfully across the rough asphalt as he tries to push himself up. 

“Za...c-ck.” He gags again, lashes wet and eyes burning, dizzy with the sway of the world. He forces himself to his hands and knees even as his palms tear across the pavement, the darkness at the edges of his vision growing ever bolder.

He moves mindlessly. Robotically. Dragging himself forward on a long, arduous journey that makes his bones ache and his limbs shake, punctuated by spells of dizziness and flashes of light. The muddled, burning thought that this shouldn’t be taking so long - that Zack wasn’t that far away to begin with - is only brief. Disappearing in a moment as Cloud finally falls over his prone form.

As soon as Cloud’s fingers brush Zack’s own, his vision fitzes again, head pounding. He gasps and squeezes his eyes shut to block out the noise, but he doesn’t pull back. He _can’t._ Instead, he grasps frantically at coarse cotton with his other hand, wrenching himself forward until his forehead meets Zack’s chest with a dull thump.

He doesn't move. Laying curled there for a long time, shivering violently in the chill of the night and the relentless rain. 

Everything is still jumbled and confused, made worse by the ebb and flow of awareness. He doesn’t know where they are. How far he’s walked and in what direction. Wonders, at some points, when even his own name becomes hard to remember, if he ever walked at all.

_“Open your eyes, Cloud.”_

A puff of breath hits his ear and he cries out, jolting upright as his whole body ignites. He scrambles and falls away, hitting the street brutally, and twists to see nothing but darkness. A road stretching on for miles.

_“Behind you.”_

_I know that voice. I know that voice. Iknowthat-_

His fingers find the hilt of Zack’s sword and he roars, swinging it around to face the voice and staggering beneath its weight. Panting, vision blurred from the rain, wracked with tremors. He tightens his fingers, breath catching on a broken sob, and glances around with wild eyes.

There’s nothing there. 

Nothing but the rise of a metal wall and the beginnings of a city. Close enough to walk to. 

_Close enough for shelter?_

His skin prickles and itches, mind blaring with alarms. Senses _screaming_ that there’s still someone around. A threat; an aura. Yet the only other person here is Zack, and the only noise is the patter of rain.

His breath fogs in front of him as he lowers the sword, almost overbalancing at the shift of weight when the tip digs into the ground. Shoulders dropping, he stares blankly at the still form in front of him.

_Zack._

There’s no telling how much longer he has left.

_What if he’s already gone?_

Cloud bites his lip and staggers forward, sword trailing beside him. He can’t bring himself to check for life. Can’t even look at the bruises and cuts without his head throbbing. So he sheathes the sword, weight strange and unsettling across his back, and lugs Zack back over his shoulders.

He thinks they may be outside Midgar, though the thought is too difficult to hold for long. It doesn’t matter much, anyways.

Cloud follows the road.

\---

He walks until he can’t anymore, and then he keeps walking.

They pass into the city without any trouble. At least not any that Cloud can remember through the haze of time and consciousness. Yet the streets aren’t empty. There are people shouting in the distance. An echo of city life. Bright, blaring neon signs and scuffles in far off alleys.

He stumbles past the derelict buildings with heavy steps, blinking away the sparks. He hopes blearily, during moments of lucidity, that Zack is still alive. Hopes he can find them somewhere safe before it’s too late - that he’ll even be able to take one more step forward, limbs as heavy as they are. He feels as if he hasn’t slept in years.

“Hey!”

Cloud jumps, head whipping upright, and teeters dangerously at the sudden movement. He fumbles for the weight sliding off his shoulders and refuses to let go, fingers snagging on the collar of Zack’s shirt. His arm snaps taut with the sudden force. 

“Hey!” the same voice says, and Cloud can’t look over at it through the slide of boots across slick concrete, knees buckling, “what do you think you’re-!” 

“Shit!” Cloud hits the ground hard. He lets go of Zack instinctively in order to curl his arms protectively over his head, and as the pain of falling flares bright in his shoulder, fear sets in like a flood.

_Zack! Where is he?! Where-_

“Damnit, what the hell is…”

He sees blood. The glint of a sword. Hears a crash and _thud-thud-thud_ down unforgiving steps.

_Zack is dead. He’s -_

_“That’s right.”_

Cloud cries out, boots scraping against the ground as he kicks away and tries to right himself. Tries to see anything but beaten concrete and _Zack, where is -_

_“I killed him.”_

“No. No…” he moans, clasping weakly at his sword.

_“Yes, Cloud…”_

“NO!” 

He gets a hand under his chest and throws himself upright, pulling out the buster sword with the other. Whirls around with a scream and charges, bringing it down on the figure before him, and is met by an ear shattering _clang!_ as his sword meets an unrelenting hunk of metal. Arms numb with the force of the backlash, all he can do for a moment is freeze, eyes wide with shock. He can feel his boots slide back with every second he keeps up the pressure - grip around the hilt is so tight that it's painful - but he can't let go. Can't move at all except to stare at the weapon his is locked with.

And it isn't a sword that met his own, Cloud realizes.

_Sephiroth. **Sephiroth.**_

It’s a...gun?

“Wha-” He's cut off as his sword is wrenched sideways, the gun colliding with his chest in a vicious blow that sends him flying. The wind is knocked from his lungs as he hits the ground, vision bursting with stars. He wheezes and writhes, panic chilling him to the bone as he tries to regain control of his limbs, his body, _anything-_

The buster sword is gone.

Cloud grunts and grinds his heels into hard concrete, feeling around frantically for his weapon as a shadow looms over him. Then there’s a boot on his wrist, pinning him down, and the gun swings into his vision again like a damn wrecking ball. Except this time, Cloud sees more than a gun. He sees an arm and a body. A _person._

A _man_ is attached to the gun.

A big man. With a mean, angry expression. And he looks about two seconds away from shooting.

“Who the hell are you, huh?!” The man bellows, and Cloud winces at the way it pierces his skull. He grits his teeth and tries to shift, but even the slightest movement has the man growling, pushing the gun closer.

“You got mako eyes, boy.” _What?_ “You a SOLDIER?”

Cloud huffs, lips thinning, and makes a fist with his trapped hand. He dares not try to free it. “Get off.”

The man only glowers down at him. Or, Cloud assumes he’s glowering behind the ridiculous sunglasses. He’s certainly frowning enough for it, brow furrowed drastically. “What’s a SOLDIER doin’ round these parts, huh? What’s Shinra up to?”

Cloud's lashes flutter, the world going white.

_So-Ld-iEr. SOL-DIER_

_SOLDIER._

_Zack._

He sucks in a sharp breath, looking around. “Where’s-”

“Hey! I’m talkin’ to you!” The man sounds indignant, but Cloud could care less. He struggles harder until the man finally leans back, snorting. “What, you looking for that friend o’ yours?”

Cloud’s eyes snap to the sunglasses again, wide and frantic. He can feel his heart hammering at his ribs. The grind of asphalt and dirt against his torn skin. The press of rubber and fury to his wrist. 

“You-” The man starts, but whatever he was about to say is cut of in a rise of static. It’s short this time. A harsh, blinding thing as Cloud goes slack, heaving and shaking. The dizziness makes his stomach lurch, and he blinks back to awareness with the gun centimeters from his face. 

The man doesn’t just look angry, now. He looks murderous.

“Did you listen to a word I just said?!”

“No," Cloud says, shaking the fog from his sight.

“Why, you-!”

“Cloud?” It's soft, barely there, but Cloud knows. He _recognizes_ it.

The world stops.

_Zack._

_He's alive._

Cloud deflates with relief, head falling back and tears pricking at his eyes. He takes in a shaky breath and blinks languidly up at the clear night sky. He wants nothing more than to run over there right now and look into those kind blue eyes. To feel _something_ \- to know _anything_ about what's happening right now. But the joy is brief and shallow - relief gone in a second. The moment is instantly broken as the man above him turns to face the noise. He's distracted, Cloud realizes. Only slightly, but it’s enough.

He kicks out with all his might, foot almost breaking against legs thick as tree trunks, but that doesn't stop him. The other man's stagger is barely there, gun shifting minutely, and Cloud leaps at the opportunity. He rolls, sees a glint of neon lighting on cool metal and grabs the buster sword, swinging it around in one sloppy, reckless arc that has the man taking a wary step back. Almost retreating.

Though his gun is raised like he means business, now, muscles tensing for a fight. A real one.

Cloud pants, staggering, and tries to settle in a ready position. Finding his footing on the unfamiliar terrain is more difficult than he'd expected, especially as he casts about for Zack's form, attention only half on the massive threat across from him.

“Where…?” Zack breathes out again, the sound rapidly fading, and Cloud’s mind hones in on the faintness of it. The vulnerability. 

Yet at least it’s _noise._ Cloud's heart soars when he sees exactly where it's coming from.

“Don’t move!” The big man orders, but it’s already too late. Cloud skids to his knees at Zack’s side, sword still held defensively in one hand as he places the other over Zack’s chest. It rises and falls beneath his palm. Weakly but steadily. Inhale. Exhale.

Breathing.

_"Zack.”_

“Cloud?” Zack’s eyes are slits of vivid blue. Surrounded by a dry, peeling spread of red. He’s _alive._

Then there's a slam that has Cloud jumping, inhaling sharply and peeling his eyes from Zack. Cloud raises his sword in response to it, determined to protect them from any threat that comes their way. Though even that movement has him wavering, and he remains upright by sheer stubborn will.

“Barret!” A voice calls out, and it's new. Belonging to a woman, strong and worried and filled with a protective sort of anger that has Cloud's senses on full alert, body tensing.

_He cannot let Zack die now._

He waits behind the sword, taut as a live wire. A jumble of tactics and techniques mushed and useless swirling through his thoughts. But nothing bad happens. There's no attack. No bullets or action. Only the rush of steps and the voice again, high and sharp.

“What’s going on out here?! Is everything okay?”

The world contorts again. A high, ringing noise filling the air and -

_He knows that voice._

_“I’m sick of this!”_

“Who is that? Hey!”

_"I'm sick of all of this!"_

_..._

_"Promise me."_

The sword falls from his fingers, and he sees red boots, clenched fists, bright eyes -

_Tifa…_

The world catches fire.

He gasps and lurches back, clutching at his head, curling away from the flashing lights and the cacophony of noise. It cuts and tears at his brain and skull. Splits his head in two.

“Cloud?!”

He digs his fingers into his scalp, crumpling, mind shrieking. He chokes on a breath and wails, thrashing wildly.

“Oh Gaia, is that you?! It's-!”

The world shatters.

And Cloud screams.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: emetophobia, mild violence, blood & gore, flashbacks.
> 
> A/N  
> Zack Lives AU! Based entirely on my knowledge of the FF7 Remake, what I remember of Crisis Core, and the random bits of lore I've picked up from the rest of the fandom about other things in the compilation. Comments are much appreciated, and I hope you guys like it so far! Idk if I want to continue yet (or maybe make it a series of one-shots?)


End file.
